mixed in my dream

tears drop inside,,,
lead me to bed time

by and by
mixed in my dream
accompanied... all night long


diary June 12th 1993

love you for good

diary sept 20th 1992

the triumph... the party...the laugh
go in a wink...never be back


the sorrowness...the pain...the agony
come at another turn for once and for all
respectively

It becomes this way...

SMILE represents both bliss and tears
no basic difference between them

but the LOVE of mine
has never gone


JUST LIKE A WATER
ONCE VAPOUR,..........SOON COMES BACK
TO BE THE WATER AGAIN


diary sept 20th 1992

unsure

the morning dawn dew
breaks the night...
faces the fact

since then, ... heart is restless
appeals the unsure future..


.......the schedule is so tight
facing the time,
running out like a flow
the heart is heavy
looking at a distance..try to digest the reality
how cud it be so strange to me ??? against me in so many ways

shud I stay ?
only God knows the lasting of mine
have I've been doing something so awful??


diary 1992.... at the office

riddle

riddle is no longer still a riddle
turning out to be the only question left
scratching the heart...

how could I be expected to figure it out
while it deepen in many subtle ways ??

God ... very sorry to pop out
this question...
Are You here around me ???


diary Oct 10 1992

marvelous

rainbow in the sky
over there looks marvelous
dawn inside I feel cold
go there feel the touch

diary ... oct 10th 1992

bitterness

tears after tears in bitterness
make my heart bitter

fears after fears in sorrowness
make my heart sorrow.



.....something in me is quite hurting
playing with my own fantasy...
playing with my own dreams...
am I hoping too much ???

diary Jan 16th 1997

dawn in the rain

dawn in the rain...
take the deep sigh
cold outside...cold inside
take out the agony...
covering all around


.....I wake up this night
around 3 dawn in the morning
my eyes still wet with tears

heavy rain outside
just like heavy tears dropping on my pillow...
that night !!!

diary June 5th 1995

simple

the term is so simple
simple and simple...
simple to be followed...
simple to be declined


what is it simple ???
simple to get hurt...
or
simple to be free ???


diary April 28 1995

my heart is empty

my heart towards you is empty...

no hatred...
as this is nothing to do with you

no love...
even I doubt your existence

BUT

one hundred reasons ask me to love you
the most of them cos of Jesus


diary march 11th 1997

love is

love is...
something unexposed
something unspoken

'cos

its shyness to be known by...
its fear to grab the freedom of...
its worriness to bother...
its care not too hurt...

"THE BELOVED'S FEELINGS


diary march 12th 1997

sepi

senandung sepi sendiri...
sendu senada senja.
sekarang sewaktu senja....
seakan selalu sendiri

diary sept 1994

seeing your smiles

my hidden tears dropping...
penetrating..... freezing in my heart
do nothing but contemplate...
can it melt and vapour ???

hoping in thousand days...
even I never deserve...
seeing your smiles...
at last !!!

diary feb 7th 1991